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[::] 2 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [24 Jan 2009|03:13am] not a moment of rest haven't even jumped off the saddle the next ride is lined up no worry of finding stranger friends always seem more familiar what is trust but a way to calculate where you push the line a bit too far, but who's taking score not like there's a care as long as you cross the finish first the rest can be left in the ground busy in your own self conscious nothing penetrates you at least not in this meaning of the word

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [24 Jan 2009|02:56am] teetering between just and unjust but you don't see the gray area crossing boundaries left and right what's there is yours no one can tell you differently friends don't mean a thing never did in your sense of the word the box is not there to see outside but to confine yourself in what you see as the truth and worry free everyone is comatose to feeling as it concerns your line of sight. table turned your binoculars show bright what's wrong and absurd never thought it would be like that deaf to the voice on the left shoulder could it really be this way all known facts are false facing memories of times lost blind and dumb to the world shown only in phases and shades upside down and gasping for air the bitter end has come to be nothing left to say but good bye

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [12 Jan 2009|06:16pm] all roads lead nowhere. and i'm driving fast.

[::] 3 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] shitty, but i'm too pissed and tired to filter or fix [04 Jan 2009|06:38am] bury the soul but not too deep it's not yours to really keep patch this hole that has come to be it is not what it was before scrape together the broken friends lovers drown with the treachery tell the truth or parts you chose maybe it's you or the lack thereof parade around with your friendship desires take the lines and push them further truth comes with a passing rim picked and prodded till there's nothing left

[::] Pick a Plum [::] done? [23 Dec 2008|06:44am] yes, i think i am done...enough writing for one night i think, it was nice to do that, it's been a while since i just started writing about what has been in my mind, with no certain topic in mind. just listening to music and let things flow through, can't believe i wrote that much stuff..it's pretty calming, with a bit to drink and some good music to listen to...and by the way, i have been listening to Placebo-Meds album in the background, i've been recently addicted to the album. should listen to it, if you actually read this, ha... SHIT! it's almost 7 and i was wanting to go to bed by 3-4 to get on a better schedule, perhaps that will come for Christmas, ha... the passerby such a subtle creature in your sights then cross behind in the periphery no thought of who it was cause of action to walk or consequence of passing push past as a mere acquaintance saying hello in just a shake goodbye with a simple nod without ever knowing the path or recollection in memory seems so evident in their mind and so irrelevant in yours want to try for something more but come across so naive unkind to someone that thought of you so close to hold a place in their sights in their minds couldn't even place the face to show a common courtesy, asshole ways

[::] 1 Prune ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [23 Dec 2008|06:30am] happy with the happenings even with the struggles that have come to be seems worth what it can be people that try to push apart plans that could are so possible to be pull together the pieces that seem to fit drag and scrape for the everyday it all seems a bit futile but no one else knows the drive what seems to be a meaningful life and purpose to the lacking drawn behind

[::] Pick a Plum [::] blabbering.....i'm in the mood to write [23 Dec 2008|05:40am] yes my mind wonders it's not your fault pressing issues come and go give presidence for two moments then kicked back on the rusty shelf it's not like you ever really cared this is not today but tomorrow that everyone lives in leave less time than is given and it all gets washed away into an abyss that no one knows that is there no one cares to see the repercussions no one wants to see the result of what is done figure it was what is played out and nothing can change that right right? no consequence, nothing happened naive and jaded to everything that was future always seems more hopeful no steps taken towards medication only drowns the lost gives a semi-comatose reality a false exaggerated hope of what is mixed in the personal lacking it is not the pill that makes you better the only cure is the ability to see and accept. of all the loss and heartache pharmacist suggestions repress the obvious build a bank off the unwillingness to push walls down to take time to really see what has happened see how things have changed, moved pieces mixed up life and reshuffled a puzzle that was never meant to be one dimensional things come and things go some never really leave in mind and soul but stay and grow to become something better than you would ever know it is the growth that matters nothing ever pulls you back, either pushing to a subtle pace or a slingshot into a space uncharted swept up going downstream shore never seems too safe paralyzing cold water gives comfort keeps me warm in the deadliest of ways

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [23 Dec 2008|04:52am] leftovers of what could be to the lonely and the lost couldn't care less of which is rich to the ones that couldn't care less with whose possibilities are endless given the easy pickings that no one dares morals drawn on one side and crossed on the next desperate and drawn to the easy letdown choose your one and stay to the final or take your number and draw multiple mistake whose the loser in the game of loss it's the choice and the boss double 0s are common among the wretched and double 0s for the divine but who sleeps soundly at night and who is naive to consciousness of morality take this chance, on life, on love take it to the bitter end of conceivability or throw it away for another night of life without meaning without which you truely live for for what is this accomplishing. can only have one day after the next. is tomorrow worth what you have for tonight this chance, this life, this love can only be taken by one and no one else it's enough to separate and distinguish of who is able and who is left behind i pull forward into a vast land i have yet to see with a chance and nothing else no strings no net no one holding back no handle bars no safety of solid ground flight or plight it's a matter of choice reservations cast aside and flying blind short or long the trip must end memories are the only thing that lives for we are all dead without

[::] 1 Prune ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] pieces of puzzle found [25 Nov 2008|04:02am] well i'm feeling parts are coming together. guess i'm optimistic. found a girl that i'm interested in. haven't felt really interested in any particular girl in forever. kinda gives me encouragement to get other things in order. like getting a day job, even if it's part time at fedex, i want to get out of the funk of third shift. i'm getting eager to have a normal life with normal hours...was thinking of trying to start up something music wise, dj and kyle seem to be wanting to do something, and pretty sure we could talk jack into drumming. that would be nice, something to work at.

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [16 Nov 2008|07:40am] better off really, i mean really did you think you were better off yet you don't think about, but the truth is out in front of your eyes did you not see the desertion in his eyes i mean really did you not the see the desertion in his eyes the blatancy in the whole thing did you not see the lies in his eyes did you not see the truth in the lies he fed you, all night long couldn't be more obvious to the naked eye but you still listen with uncommonly unbiased mind with an unbiased mind i leave you to this mindless lie a mindless lieee

[::] 1 Prune ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [12 Nov 2008|11:18pm] lost and found, then turned around, that's the story for today...i have too much crap going on right now, i can't wait till next week when things get back to normal...bah, i have the joy of getting my wisdom teeth pulled out of my jaw tomorrow morning, not exactly looking forward to that, and i still have to look over the farm till friday or saturday... i wanted a nice chill weekend, but now i'm going to have a painful medicated weekend...maybe the vicodin will make up for me not drinking saturday

[::] 1 Prune ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [11 Nov 2008|03:20pm] lost direction, mixed signals, not so innocent bystanders, friendship scandels, surfacing truth, hidden agendas, love, loss, living, fading feelings, wide eyes, interference, bullhorn bullshit, oblivious, intoxication, barriers, thief, happiness, regret, timing, mixing bowl

[::] 4 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] lost in the days [25 Oct 2008|06:36am] taken by surprise in the looking glass that has always been there like waking from a dream that was never yours pondering how the past has led to the state of present being that i have chosen or should i say has chosen me the people, the places, the circumstances that react and dissolve the things you hold on to with a gentle touch or a death grip throughout the days or throughout the years finding the little treasures in day to day life that help open your eyes each day to face another the girl you met the day before the new trivial happening that occupies time or maybe it's the wonder that drives you that something new will happen this day changing your perception of reality of being or just to look at a single object in a different light slowing time to a crawl just to watch a single occurrence that you've seen thousands of times before just to find a better understanding done for the rant of the day, catch me tomorrow for perhaps another epiphany that fizzles out into an LJ post that will be lost in the code of internet, alas i should do this more often, as a hobbit, i do not interact with people on a level above drunken chatter on a saturday night, so a computer screen that i may spill rattled thoughts onto might uncompress this tattered mind

[::] 2 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [21 Nov 2007|08:21am] ok, stage one of reinvention, clean up...i'm trying to eat healthier, even forcing myself to eat some veggies, actually going to work out tomorrow, and cutting back on drinking...stage two, being more open to things and people, i rely on my judgement of people right off the back too easily, i need to give people more of a chance, i miss diversity in people...stage three, meeting people, it's been a while since i've met anyone new really, with the exception of last weekend.....i am just not happy with who i've become or where i'm going, and i need a change, and so i must start at stage one, and make myself feel better physically and mentally, any help or motivation would be very appreciated

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [18 Nov 2007|08:06am] try, try, fail...try, try, and fail again nothing to lose, but fumbled from the start could of been much, could've went for a touch nothing more than just a nudge and contemplative affections more or less i should have just because haven't felt it since many of months i knew the consequences weren't much just couldn't from all of the fuss landslide of expectations set inside a vault that sees no light jaded and faltering at a mere thought batter into a broken lock flooding with such dismal luck

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [15 Nov 2007|07:04am] [ mood | distant ] well since i don't really talk to anyone much, except for on poker nights, and then it's only conversations you have to pass the time, i think i'm going to try to write in here, i'm not even sure if people still read this..but yea, today i felt like i was in a constant panic attack, probably from thinking of the past again, that usually stems it. i feel pretty disconnected from everything, everyone. i don't go out much, no one really calls. i live in my little cave, sometimes venture out (as in, the downstairs area) for food and drink. i pass my time in watching tv like a zombie and checking stuff on the internet for a full 5 minutes to realize i'm bored with it. dj did call me yesterday, we went to the mall for like an hour or two, then i went back into my seclusion. i sometimes have thoughts of trying to hang out with people, then realize i don't have the energy, and use the excuse to myself of that i have to go to work in a few hours. been thinking of eating more healthily, i don't have the money to really go all out with it, since most healthy food costs more money. and i would like to exercise more but nowhere to do it. i need to find a day job, one that i have to wake up for, then i think i would be more apt to do stuff since i'm already out and about. and now it's getting daylight out, and i better attempt to sleep, or else i'll screw up my sleep schedule once again, and that's not a pretty sight

[::] 2 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] song you will have to listen to, one of my favorites for quite some time [09 Nov 2007|09:02am] Lately I've been wishing I had one desire something that would make me never want another something that would make it so that nothing matters all would be clear then but I guess i'll have to settle for a few brief moments and watch it all dissolve into a single second try to write it down into a perfect sonnet or one foolish line 'cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept you are here then you're gone but i believe that lovers should be tied together thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather left there to drown left there to drown in their innocence but as for me i'm coming to the final chapter i read all of the pages and there's still no answer only all that was before i know must soon come after that's the only way it can be so I stand in the sun and I breathe with my lungs trying to spare me the weight of the truth saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever now you're laying in a bathtub full of freezing water wishing you were a ghost but once you knew a girl and you named her lover danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer autumn came, she disappeared you can't remember where she said she was going to but you know that she is gone 'cause she left you a song that you don't want to sing singing I believe that lovers should be chained together thrown into a fire with their songs and letters left there to burn left there to burn in their arrogance but as for me i'm coming to my final failure killed myself with changes trying to make things better ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers and layed entwined together on a bed of clover left there to sleep left there to dream of their happiness

[::] Pick a Plum [::] [09 Jun 2007|05:51am] patterns of portrait pictures floating in a sea of pity parties take flight with memory sunrises followed by unforgettable sunsets

[::] 3 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [12 May 2007|06:13am] do i unknowingly crave challenges. is it really just the challenge of getting what i want. or the result of working together to accomplish something better. possibly something uncharted. something i have wanted in the back of my mind ever since i was a kid. a life i had instilled in me all these years. just a glimpse of that had occurred and now i'm chasing a dream. or is it reality. with more effort will it come true. or am i chasing something that isn't real. just an illusion. would i really want it if it was just handed to me? or would i just push it off as something too easy. it's never as good if you are just given something compared to working at it. and possibly always working at it. pushing yourself past limits unseen before, things you never thought was worth fighting for. would the challenge fizzle out or would it stay the course of time. will i always question it if i didn't try. could i even think of not trying. either way, sleep is a must

[::] 2 Prunes ]:[ Pick a Plum [::] [30 Mar 2007|12:19pm] let's try this again, i haven't posted in a while, and was convinced that i should pick it up again....so if you don't like it, talk to mandy, heh curving round the bend pick your foot off the rubber i say it's not as if you need the time but you say you like to be free unlike so many past views mulholland will always show you a fresh new don't let the yellow soil taint your loaded heart pick axes and hoes seem to cultivate filled with the drinks in that little bar down the street but doesn't bring the nutrition you really need water will help you grow and prosper in time they say but it doesn't get me through the week

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